The greatest night of my life.

The worst greatest night of my life.

This is not exactly where I planned on today’s post going but I feel like I need to share the last piece of the puzzle to my past that has shaped the last 7 years for me.

August 31^st 2007 – I set out on weekend getaway to Radford to see my friends for one last time before the semester got underway. I was stoked. A weekend full of friends, keg parties, keg parties, and keg parties. I drove up by myself on Friday morning and was ready to party. That night was wild. I really have no idea how much I drank. But it was enough to black out. Skipping all the details of the party… it was wild. I was hammered. Apparently… I decided I was hungry. I don’t remember this. But was told after the fact. (Clarification: This was when I was still at my heaviest and I had a tendency to go on a binge drinking session… followed by a binge food session… so me wanting some pizza the usual after a super drunk night) But this time I must have decided I wanted to pick out my own food… so I was off to Walmart. Yep. Got in my jeep… apparently paid no attention to the curb or sidewalk that stood in the way of my car and road I needed to go on.. but I was off! I remember “waking up” inside Walmart. WHOA. How in the world did I get here. No idea. But there was tons of food in here and I didn’t have time to figure out why or how I was there. I bought a pizza and was off. I remember not having a shirt on and an employee told me I needed to go home and put some clothes on. Anyway… Pizza. Check. Like an idiot I decided I was totally fine to drive back home. It was only a few miles. Ill be fine. I drove home like a champ. Really. I was 300 feet from my friends apartment when it happened. Blue lights. Sirens. Oh S**T. Sure enough he pulled up right behind me. DONE. That’s it. This is going to really suck. He informed me he was not pulling me over for any driving infractions… and that I was actually driving respectively. OK… thanks…. But for real lets get to the point. I am pulling you over because your vehicle was involved in an incident and witnesses told us you may have been drinking.

“Have you been drinking Sir?”

“Umm… Yes Sir…”

“How much would you say you have had tonight?”

“Umm… enough”

So then I proceeded with the standard stuff. Field Sobriety test. Say the ABC’s backwards from W to C….. HAHA! Yahhhhh right.

Walk the line…. Tripped on my final couple steps.

That was it. Handcuffed. Shirtless. Fat kid. Huge crowd of people watching this event go down. Stuffed into the back of the cruiser.

My life was over. How had it come to this? Why me? What did I do? WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL MY PARENTS?

Long story short… I blew a .24 at the scene. (unofficial) Blew a .14 at the police office (.15 is mandatory 30 days in jail and way worse penalties) Someone was looking out for me.

Off to the Jail. Spent the night. Freezing cold. 4x8 concrete cell all by myself. Water all over the floor. Had to borrow an “Inmate” shirt from them because I didn’t have a shirt. Car was impounded. My life came crumbling down in a matter of a few hours. I had hit rock bottom.

This is where it may get weird for some of you. Only Erin, and a few close friends know this part of story because I never thought people would believe me. But it was at this moment lying on the floor, freezing cold, crying, freaking out, hating myself… I said “Im sorry” I felt so compelled to just start praying for forgiveness. For help, for a hand to guide me out of this. I knew God, I knew Jesus, but quite obviously put them on a back burner. I didn’t need them. I was doing fine with out them. My life was GREAT! HA. Yah…. Right.

I cant accurately explain this part without you thinking I am crazy… or dreaming… but at that moment the door was opened. Not the jail cell door. But the figurative door. The second chance. The restart I needed. I felt this overwhelming presence around me. I became comfortable. Warm. A sense of Hope. This was not a dream. I was awake. I know I was awake because I didn’t sleep another peep that night. I knew what it was. It was God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. He found me. He reached out his hand and rescued me. I literally left like he picked me up, brushed me off, and said something to the effect of “Matt… you messed up. That was really stupid. Your lucky I didn’t let you hurt anyone. Here is your shot. CHANGE this. This lifestyle is not for you.”

At that moment I got on my knees and just prayed. Again. I was sorry. I wanted this to end. I wanted this to change, to never happen again. I re-dedicated my life to Christ that night. I felt better. Not good. I was still in jail. But I had a teammate. I would get through this. I wasn’t alone anymore.

Anyway… one of my best friends came and picked me up the next afternoon. Made the inevitable phone call home. Cried. A lot. Cried with my mom on the phone. Endured the wrath of a disappointed father. The worst thing in the  world by the way.

So I made it home. Went to court got charged with a DUI. Did the mandatory AA meetings, Alcohol and drug abuse classes, suspended license for a year, paid the fines, lost the trust from my family, and began the long hard journey to rebuild my life. March 2008 I made the most important phone call of my life. I was looking for a summer job that didn’t require driving. Called Caleb Kuenzli, he got me an interview at Triple R Ranch, by the grace of God they for some reason hired me as a boys counselor (because im sure I sounded like a great role model for kids!!!) for the summer and the rest is history.

Looking back that was the GREATEST worst night of my life.

Saul to Paul.

I hate the fact that I had to hit rock bottom to accept the truth that Jesus is our Lord and our Savior. I knew it the whole time. I just ignored it. I ignored God. Still makes me angry at myself. But that’s my story. We serve an amazing God. He will meet you at best or your worst. He will not look down upon you. He will meet you in a meadow, or meet you in a canyon. He just wants us to love Him. Love HIM. I truly feel like he puts some of us in crappy situations and rescues us to show the world His never-ending grace.