My Better Half

Today I am going to pause the whole eating disorder discussion. I obviously have many things I am struggling with and many things that on my plate I am actively working through and healing from, but I think it is also important that I highlight and shed some light on the wonderful things in my life.

Today is Valentine’s Day. Personally I think it is a stupid holiday. We should show our love and celebrate those we love everyday. We shouldn’t need a designated holiday to remind ourselves to show some appreciation to those special people in our lives. (I am not saying I do this. I am as guilty as most everyone else at using this day as a day to “step up my game”)

Most everyone who may read this knows my better half… Erin. Erin is one-of-a-kind. She is unique in the way she loves people. She loves everyone. Unconditionally. Literally. Everyone. If there was anyone in the world who would know if Erin truly didn’t care for somebody it would be me. And guess what. She doesn’t. She loves you. Whoever is reading this… she loves you. I promise. Her heart is bigger than the world. I would give anything in the world to have .01% of the love she has for people. I would genuinely argue with anyone who says they have a more loving and caring and passionate wife. I know every guy would say that… but im pretty sure I would win. Erin doesn’t “wear her heart on her sleeve” as the expression goes. She just flat out hands it to you. Every person in the world that has come in contact with her literally holds part of her heart. She loves you. Never met her? Doesn’t matter she loves you. It is amazing to watch. Her smile is contagious. Her patience is unending.  She literally does not know what it means to “not care” about someone. I remember going to her classroom for her Christmas party this year and watching her with her kids. It was beautiful. She found her calling. She isn’t just a teacher to those kids. One of these days im convinced I will get home from work and all of sudden have 24 adopted kids! Selfless. Beautiful. Amazing. I would run out of adjectives before feeling like I could fully describe her.

How in the world did someone like her fall in love with me. I don’t have any idea. And I do not deserve it. I am selfish. She has had to endure all my problems. I have hurt her. Mistreated her. Taken advantage of her unconditional love. Taken things out on her. They always say you hurt worst the ones you love. I have proven that one a billion times. And yet still she stands behind me. She still loves me. Supports me. Picks me up when I fall. Its not fair. I have so much to be thankful for. She tries to bring so much joy into my life and I selfishly and blatantly ignore it while im consumed with other things. It. Is. Not. Fair.

Erin, I am sorry. For everything. Thank you for always being here for me. Thank you for loving me and caring for me. I don’t say that enough. Thank you and I am sorry.

I love you with all my heart. It may not seem or feel like it at times. But I do. I love you. You are the most amazing woman in the world and I am the luckiest man in the world. I know it shouldn’t take something like Valentine’s Day to share these words with you. I am not sure what I would do with you. I am so truly blessed.

As long as I’m living….

Ps. if you happen to have her phone number or are friends with her on facebook or have some means of contacting her…. Send her a little message and remind her of how amazing she is. She would love that. She wasn’t feeling very good this morning. It would definitely cheer her up J