Winds of Change?

Winds of Change?          

So I have no idea what is going on. But Today has been a fantastic day. I don’t know why. Its almost strange. This weekend was actually really good as well. Erin is really sick but despite that it was actually a pretty enjoyable weekend. She was able to do things during the days for the most part and we kinda took it easy for the evenings/nights. Friday we stayed in. I actually painted. I have not painted (a picture not the house) in months. It was very nice. Saturday we did not do a whole lot. Ran some errands… (i actually went and bought a skinny dip ice cream!!!!! This is huge for me…) but we did have a wonderful dinner and coffee date with 2 of our very good friends Kim and Kyle. They just got back from Lesotho on a missions trip and are getting married soon so we had lots to talk about. Not to mention I seriously had the best coffee I have ever had in my entire life. Sunday we had a good lunch with Erin’s mom, grandma, and sister and church was awesome as always. Definitely helped that the weather was great. Seriously though… I am doing everything I can to actually be pessimistic and  manage my expectations and thoughts however I feel like something is beginning to change. Like each day this weekend my overall mood and mindset has continually become more and more positive. Like I said I am trying to keep telling myself this is not over you may just be having a good stretch of days… but man I feel good. I don’t know if maybe I just got a good night sleep last night? Maybe it’s the turn of the weather? Maybe I genuinely am just starting to get better? I have no idea. But I like this feeling. I have kept up my part of the deal and this is day 10 of my gym-less streak. I definitely miss it. But at the same time this has been a really nice break. I am actually looking forward to going back and getting on a schedule and routine and start going after my new goals. Erin and I watched the 2013 re-run of the Crossfit Games yesterday afternoon. Even she was into it! I told her just wait… by Christmas I will look like Rich Froning. ;) I feel like this blog is about my bragging but I really don’t care because I want to enjoy this time of positivity. I noticed I laughed a lot this weekend. I joked around a lot more. I went to Panera and did not freak out thinking about what I was eating. Shoot like I said I freaking bought an ice cream this weekend. On a non-work out day! UNHEARD OF. I haven’t weighed myself for 10 days. And of course I think man what the heck is the scale going to say… but at the same time… my clothes fit the same. I still look the same in the mirror. I feel the same. I am not eating a billion calories extra so I think this 10 day test so far has given my brain a huge dose of re-assurance that MATT YOU WILL NOT GET FAT IF YOU MISS A FREAKING WORKOUT OR EAT AN ICE CREAM ONCE A WEEK! CHILL OUTTTTTTTTT A LITTLE. Like I said I am actually really excited to get back to the gym because I am excited to start eating more food. SO many foods I have removed completely from my diet out of all those old fears… I am going to start bringing them back. I have been using this time reading countless articles and plans and guides on body building or just muscle building in general and so many of the foods I removed are essential to working out. So all of this to say… it was and still is a really good last few days. I am trying to enjoy them as they are here because who knows what could happen tomorrow. Thanks to everyone out there who has read this blog so far and encouraged me, loved me, supported me. I am trying really hard not to jump the gun. But I feel bits of Matt coming back :)

Keep me O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from the violent man, who have purposed to overthrow my goings. Psalm 140:4