Selfies

Selfies

Sometimes I think it is important for everyone to take a “selfie”. So go ahead… grab your smart phone… hold your arm out… or find a mirror… pucker your lips… and snap it. Done? Good.

Hopefully nobody just did that. And for God’s sake if you did… please don’t post it on facebook….or istagram…or twitter… in fact go blow up your phone.

But seriously.

When was the last time you just stopped for a second in the morning, while you’re getting ready, and just starred at yourself. Looked deep into your own eyes and taken a little inventory? I think this is important. I guess it’s a sort of meditation in a way. Just looking at yourself… asking questions of yourself. Are you who you wanted to be? Are you who you feel like you were created to be? Are you going through the motions of life? Or are you creating the motions of life? Are you happy with yourself? Happy with who you’ve become, who you are growing up to be?

I think these are crucial questions to ask yourself. I have been doing a lot of pondering of these questions. I am a text book example of someone who has been just going through the motions in life. I have been struggling to see my life as purposeful. This blog has invited some sense of purpose for me. I hope it still reaches and benefits people. If nothing else I at least hope anyone who reads it enjoys the couple minutes each week it takes to read these. I actually enjoy being open and honest and really have found great joy in writing. But that being said… I still have really struggling finding my purpose in life. I stare into my own eyes and still see so much potential absolutely screaming to come out. I almost compare it to a tiger in captivity. There is a fire burning inside to do something powerful but the world and my past ghosts continue to beat me back to the ground. Regrets plague me. I have been trying really hard lately to accept them and move on. Very hard to do. Each time I give myself a good stare down I see all the things I should have done differently. All the things I wished I could go back and change. So many times in life I’ve wanted to put my fist so far through that mirror and go back and change things thinking I can always come back and rebuild the mirror, piece it back together the way I want it look, I want me to look.

The problem is you can’t. You can never go back. No mulligan’s in life. The sooner you/I accept this and embrace the future… the sooner we become happy. And happiness is the goal of life in my opinion.

Not money, not possessions, not all the other things of this world. Happiness. Happiness can be obtained with and from nothing.

My most recent and frequent prayer has been for God to show me my purpose. Help me remove the blindfolds of my past and steer the ship. The world tells us to fight for the helm and never let it go. YOU/WE have all the control. NEVER GIVE IT UP.

Friends, that is so not the way. Let it go. You must let it go. I must let it go. I’m 3 days away from being 27 years old. I am young. I have so many years to come, so many years to change the world, do good, spread joy. Love. You can’t be the change you want to see in the world if you won’t let yourself be the change you want to see in yourself. The world will beat you down, tell you, you can’t do that… be that… it’s too late… you aren’t good enough, smart enough, this dream is going to take too long, be too hard, cost to much, might require drastic change… STOP

Just stop. Have faith, believe in yourself. Let it go. Leave the worries behind. Have faith. Step out of the boat.

Tonight, tomorrow, right now… sometime soon… take a good long mental selfie.