Life is Good

Life is Good.

Those t-shirts are so corny yet so awesome. They typically feature a little stick figure person enjoying some form of leisure (usually in the simplest form)  with a big smile on its face. Life is Good, and that’s how it’s supposed to be.

Life is good. Or atleast I can say life is BECOMING good. This has been a great week. I have been trying to incorporate many changes into my life all for the better and all of them are small little tests and challenges I am making to try and see if I cant start to overcome and curb things that cause major anxiety or stress. Here are the main areas I have been focusing on this week.

1.       SLEEP! Newsflash for those who don’t know me… I am THE morning person. I love mornings… the earlier the better. Previously my alarm used to be set around 4:30 and to be honest I rarely made it to my alarm. I love getting up when its dark outside. I love taking walks before the sun comes up in the real true dead of night. I don’t know why. I read in a book recently that some people enjoy it because they (I totally fall into this category) are extremely productive in the wee hours. The reasoning behind this was interesting. When you get up that early… its quiet… you know pretty much for certain you wont be getting phone calls, emails, texts, or anything that may disrupt a certain task. The interesting point the author made was it seems like waking up early allows you to take advantage of having the maximum amount of self-esteem before anything else has a chance of getting up and beating you down. Work isn’t nagging you yet, family issues, drama, friend problems…. They are all still sleeping. I found this to be true. I am fresh, awake, clear-minded, and focused in the mornings. However this poses a major challenge by about 8pm when I am DONE and ready to sleep. Its difficult to get up that early and stay awake until 11 or so. So all that say…  I have switched my alarm to 5:30 (latest possible to where I can get every thing that needs to be done) and force myself to stay in bed as long as I can. Some mornings this is tough. Minutes creep like hours between 430 and 530 when I can only manage to fall back asleep for 10 min at a time. BUT I AM TRYING. And to be honest it feels great. I do miss my morning walks, and still take one from time to time, but the extra hour of sleep albeit.. only an hour… I notice a major difference.

2.       DIET! YES I EAT FOOD! And lots more of and I am really starting to bring in some variety. Previously I was literally eating ONLY chicken, broccoli, green beans, eggs, protein powder, and strawberries with dinner. Now I still have my major hang ups with certain foods. Sugar…unless its nature form (fruits/veggies) is still something I do not believe is a necessary part of anyone’s diet. I still avoid gluten/simple carbs as much as I can and try and get my carbs from the good healthy variety (again fruits and veggies). But still I have been bringing in many more forms of fruit and added back my greek yogurt from time to time. I eat oatmeal again which I must say is delicious and I have missed it. Besides bringing back foods into my diet I am also trying to get rid of all the junk I eat. Also… if you haven’t tried the PB2 peanut butter stuff… its amazing. I mix a huge dish with my dinner fruits and eat the crap out of it.  What I mean by junk is all the artificial sweeteners and artificial flavor enhancers and stuff. I have depended on those such things SO HEAVILY in my previous quest to get the most flavor/taste for the least calories. Splenda and all those artificial things are one of the leading causes of depression and anxiety….HMMMMMM connection? So all in all I’m just trying to get rid of the fake stuff and incorporate a nice balanced whole foods approach. The other night a made a quiche that was so freaking delicious I ate the entire thing. A 9” pie baking dish… destroyed. Eggs, veggies, my soy cheese, and a grapefruit… probably the best meal I’ve eaten in a long time.

3.       WATER! Yes how simple is that! I used to track my water and liquid intake like a hawk… Why? Liquid is heavy, heavy is weight, weight makes the scale go up, my mind would get all jacked up. Yes… I know its only water and you pee the excess out anyway… but still… it messed with my head.

4.       FUN! Ive talked about just trying to have fun. Life should be fun. When life is fun… and fun is good… Life is GOOD! Tennis is a blast. The gym is fun again. Ive totally blown all expectations out the door and working out is fun again. I go in… focused… excited… with a new goal, to just enjoy the individual workout that day. I have no weight goals anymore, no “must see my abs again” goals, no “I must be able to clean and press five billion pounds this year, I just go in… do my thing… work on my weaknesses and go home. Its fun. And it feels so much better this time around.

5.       GUM. Yes chewing gum. I am making a conscience effort to scale back on chewing gum. Its always been used as my nervous comfort “food” and pretty much if I am not eating a meal… I have a piece of gum in my mouth. Its also been a way for me to enjoy a “sweet treat” or “sweet TRICK” in my brain to curb my cravings for food while I was dieting. Its all just artificial junk and sweeteners and serve no purpose what-so-ever. This is honestly the hardest thing I am trying to do.

Now that things are going better in my own personal life and I am making massive strides to positive changes, I need to focus on being the best possible husband I can be. Erin is amazing. Erin is beautiful inside and out, and I am beyond blessed to be married to her. I have not been the best possible husband I can be. Not even close. I admit it. I have been non-existent at times, and was so consumed with me. This must stop. She deserves so much more then I have given her. Unfortunately I cannot go back in time and make up or give back the time I wasted, but I can make sure that none of that happens going forward. We have such a wonderful life, wonderful friends, wonderful families, theres no reason why we shouldn’t be having a truly wonderful marriage and life together. We are still so young and so much of life is still ahead of us and there is so much potential for us to do amazing things together. I must change. God as my witness I am going to change. Like I said… you cant change the past… but you can learn from it and make sure the future is good. And that’s my job. Because we all know… Happy Wife….Happy life. J I love you sunshine!

ONE LAST THING! … still haven’t weighed myself. And honestly… couldn’t care less. I walk right by that scale everyday and give a nice two finger salute (figuratively)