Two years!

Two years. I really can’t figure out if it feels like it has been a really long two years… or it has gone by really fast. It’s weird. A TON of stuff has happened since then so in once sense it feel like it has been a long two years because we have experienced so much change and new things… but on the other hand… I still remember parts of that day like it was yesterday. It’s funny and interesting to look back and think about what you remember the most. I don’t remember ANYTHING about that morning. Like it literally doesn’t feel like it happened. I remember waking up making myself try to make as much of the day as normal as possible to not get all anxious. I know I went to the gym… ate breakfast at home… but that was it. The first thing I remember about the day was trying to go find a garter at Party City because the one we ordered didn’t get delivered in time! I know I went to lunch with my groomsmen and I distinctly remember that the 2012 CrossFit Regional games were on TV at the restaurant because I remember just sitting then watching the TV because I really couldn’t focus on the conversations going on around me and my brain was going a million miles a minute.  The whole pre-ceremony happenings are somewhat of a blur as well. I remember we had a long time to change and take pictures and I wasn’t allowed to wander around because Erin and the girls were out and about. From about the time the pastor came and got me to get ready… is when time started FLYING. The ceremony went by so fast. I remember small moments specifically. But again so much of this was a total blur. I do remember that I pulled off the clutchest moment ever when I kissed Erin on the forehead after our first kiss J I also remember the entire audience let out a huge “awwwwww” after that. The most bizarre emotional moment that happened was one that NOBODY else saw. There was a moment after we walked down the aisle together that we had to loop around the church and wait to take pictures and as we were walking, before any of the wedding party caught up to us, I bursted into an all our cry fest and Erin and I just held each other and I told her I don’t know why I’m crying… “I just love you!”

I remember that moment the most vividly of the whole day.

Fast Forward to today. Erin had blossomed into such a fantastic, caring and loving educator and has devoted her life to her children. She loves everyone, cares for everyone, would do anything for anyone and her smile brightens any room she enters. I know ive said this before… but I am the luckiest guy ever. She is amazing. I would re-live 5/19/12 everyday for the rest of my life if I could. I wish so much I could honestly say that I haven’t taken her for granted. I don’t think I fully appreciate how amazing she is some days and I hate it. So much of what I have been going through for the last year has affected her and our relationship and I hate it. She doesn’t deserve or need any of that. She has always had my back and her love, support and concern is the only reason I am here today fighting. I couldn’t get through this with out her and the unconditional love she gives me. Shes the best and I love her to death :)