Revelations

Revelations

I recently really feel like God has been on revealing spree in my heart. I have come to see and feel many things much more clearly lately. I don’t know why or if He is trying to prepare me for something he has in store for me in the future, but the last few weeks have been incredibly emotional. I have laughed more, cried more, smiled more and been beaten down more in the last few weeks then I have in my whole life… but its been nice. It has really cleared up some questions and feelings I have been experiencing.

One area I really feel like God has been working in my heart has been my quiet time with Him. I really feel like I have been having tons more conversations with Him. This has been huge because I have always struggled with keeping up my prayer life. The more I talk… the more I hear him talk. Which is good. Because I need Him right now big time.

Another area I have been really focusing on is continuing to seek the desires and passions inside my own heart and not worrying about what others think. I guess its kind of back to the whole “identity” issue that I have always struggled with. Learning to be me without being ashamed has been really freeing. I can pursue what I want and what I need without the overwhelming feeling of being judged ot looked down upon.

Another area has been showing me who I need to be dedicating my time for. For a long time ive always just “served” my wife but never really gave her my time. I did things for her, made her breakfast, bought her favorite groceries… but struggled to actually love her. At the end of the day… none of those things matter. All that matters is that she knows and feels my love. My true love. Not my service or my husband duties… but my genuine love. This is a major work in progress. But I do really feel like as I continue to straighten out other areas of my life… this issue has begun straightening itself as well.

Husbands must love there wives as Christ loves the church. Unconditionally.

Going along with the love and time theme… he has really been revealing the people in my life that deserve my time. I have spent more time hanging out with others in the last month then I have in the last 2 years, and it has been incredible. Our church group has been such a major encouragement to my life and most of them probably don’t even know it. I am so thankful for them.

Lastly, God has been totally exploding passions out of my heart. I am slowly but surely getting tuned in to my ultimate dream and passion. As I said on Friday I feel like certain things have happened for a reason. The only analogy I can come up with is its like having a massively huge bon fire all built and ready and a tiny tiny little spark has been lit at the bottom…. The only problem is…. There’s also a gigantic thunderstorm (my past demons, decisions, self-doubt, self-confidence, nonexistent courage) just waiting at the horizon to blow over. I am scared, nervous, lost and have no idea where or when or truly even if… to begin the pursuit, but I feel like these things aren’t happening for nothing. I am still prayerfully seeking guidance and not jumping on any impulses just yet. So if I could get some prayer warriors to lift these up… I would be so grateful.

I still am convinced we can change the world if we all follow our hearts and pursue fully our passions and dreams.