Second Steps

Second Step

Taking that Second step has always been something that I haven’t been able to do.

I am a master at planning things…considering all angles and issues… incorporating all the necessary resources available or needed for the task at hand… and putting together the most logical and efficient plan to get something done. I really am good at putting together the “first step” of something… however the next step… not so much.

I rarely ever follow through with a thought or plan. Besides being really good at the things mentioned above… I am also a master at second-guessing myself…considering…reconsidering… questioning….and ultimately end up talking myself out of something. I usually get nervous about the outcome and am terrified at the fear of failure. If it involves a substantial financial investment… the all these things just get exponentially worse. So inevitably  my master plan usually ends up remaining just a master plan. I rarely ever put something into action. Action.. the second step...

I can think of a million examples of this throughout my life. Some are small… like me never getting around to painting a picture in the style of Thomas Kinkade. Why? Well chances are it probably will not turn out quite as good as Thomas Kinkade. Yes I know he is a master professional painter but I would still judge myself to those standards… so after going out and buying all the supplies I needed, picked the picture I wanted to replicate… I never started. I got scared. Knew it wouldn’t turn out how I wanted, or thought it should… so I just quit before I ever even tried.

On a larger scale… this has plagued many major decisions I have had to make in my life. Specifically college. I went to a school that had so much available and so much potential and never once went to try and get out and get involved. I stuck super tight to the friends I had, that were familiar and that had everything in common with me. I was always too afraid to go out and meet new people or new groups. I never joined any clubs or organizations because I was afraid of being different… or even just the fear of the unknown. I picked my major because everyone else picked that major. Then even after I left that school… I had a chance to restart and maybe go down a road I actually wanted to go down… but I didn’t. I picked the same program that a buddy was in, chose a major based upon recommendations from those around me… instead of searching for my own interests and going after them. Up until after graduation from college and getting my first “career” job… I had never ever worked a job that I didn’t know somebody who could get me a leg-up. Why? I guess I just never wanted to take a chance or a risk without some sort of advantage. I think I always was just too afraid of doing anything on my own or doing something that I didn’t have all the information about. So here I sat… trying to figure out where to take my life from this point on… having to live with the fact that I have never once just said **** it…. And gone out to do exactly what I feel like I should do.

Why am I writing about this today???

I have an opportunity to go to a conference in Arizona during the end of October. It is hosted by a company that I support more then any other company and the idea behind what they are doing is literally exactly what I want to do with my life. Christian based fitness/wellness lifestyle. This conference is designed for fitness professionals or those passionate about pursuing this type of work… to learn to build and grow there gym or their business and how to incorporate Christian principles with exercise and fitness.  However I am finding myself questioning the decision on to go. I feel like I need to get the reasons out in the open for anyone to comment or encourage me. So here are my “issues”

• ·         I am scared that I don’t have enough knowledge or credentials to be taken serious by the other fitness professionals.
• ·         I am scared that this might confirm that this is exactly what I want to do with my life… but the amount of work that it might take to do this is too much to imagine
• ·         I am scared of the financial investment and what if it ends up being a waste?
• ·         I am scared of going to something of this magnitude alone.

I just never seem to be able to take that second step. To dive in, take a chance… go for gold for once. Playing the safe, easy or cautious card will rarely get you in trouble… but at the same time it often leaves you thinking “what could have been???”

I was with a buddy this weekend and through his actions and our discussions it seems like some many other people are able to live the “you only live once” motto as he is. Because… at the end of the day… you do only live once. Every day that goes by that you aren’t actively pursuing your dreams or fulfilling your life with that which truly makes you happy I think is a waste of a day. We don’t get these days back. I don’t want to get to be 65yrs old and sit and dream of what could have been. I need to start making these things happen. Or at least trying.  Because at least then I can say I tried and it wasn’t meant to be. But until you try… you will never know.