Writer’s Block
Man lately I have been struggling with topics to write
about. Not that I have a self-imposed requirement to write X times a week but I
do enjoy it, I just have been struggling finding stuff to talk about. Lately I have
been really working very hard on calming down. I tend to be a 10 year plan type
of person and keep my eyes focused so much on the far out future that I never
really accomplish things in the now or get discouraged because things aren’t happening
fast enough. So as I search my soul for my purpose and really try and focus on listening
to the Voice of God…. I am trying to really hard to just sit back. I always
tend to try and take the wheel and direct it where I want to go or what I want
to do. Not the best idea and look where its gotten me. 10 year plans are great
to have but when you neglect the here and now because you want so badly to have
the future happen already… you miss life. This weekend I tried really hard to
do just that. For once… we literally had NO plans. For an entire weekend. It
was incredible! Saturday we spent the entire day at the pool and Sunday the
entire day at Church and the beach. It was so relaxing… and also soo against my
norm. I would have normally thought that this was a total waste of time that
could be spent being productive or making sure our errands were done or
whatever… but this weekend I didn’t. I just sat back, took a deep breath, and
enjoyed the moment. Another thing I have been focusing on recently is making
sure I am being intentional with my actions. That is… I am one to expect instant
gratification and get really annoyed when things don’t happen right away.
(hence my struggling with quitting things so easily). This kind of correlates
to living more in the moment as well. I am not trying to rush certain things
like I typically do. In all actions and decisions I am actively seeking as much
guidance and input from as many different sources before making a radical
decision. I am in no rush. I am also going to try and spend more of my free
time this summer on actually doing those things I am passionate about instead
of just continually thinking about them.
The other thing I am trying to focus on (since I have began
a new medication that will hopefully help this process) is de-clutter my brain.
I have soooo many thoughts and emotions about sooo many things that I was to
try and take as many as I can and process them and then come to terms with how I
feel and not just bury them in the back of the brain to be handled later. For
example… some very big changes will take place in the next couple years with my
family and instead of just suppressing my true feelings… I sat down with my mom
this weekend and told her exactly how I felt. It felt good and felt like a
weight was lifted off my shoulders a little. So I can check that one off… move
on to the next.
The last thing I am working on (this goes back to being more
intentional about everything) is to not pass up an opportunity or be too afraid
to pursue something. Example: I am the WORST person at following through with
things… so many times someone will approach me and say they know someone or
have a contact within something that might be able to help me out or just use
as a reference and historically I would NEVER contact that person for fear that
maybe I would ask the wrong questions, not be totally prepared to talk to them
or just simply be afraid of what they may say good or bad. So now I am actively
seeking advice and guidance from any and everyone I think may be able to offer
help. Even just cold-calling(emailing mostly) people and explaining my
position, my desires and my plans so I can honestly say so far feedback has
been great. Most people who are “professionals” at what they do are more then
willing, usually eager, to offer their knowledge to someone who knows less then
them. My Dad taught me that one.
So to wrap this whole post up…. This summer is my
slooooooooooooooow down and focus time.
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