Experiencing God

Experiencing God

I wont lie. I miss writing this blog on a more regular basis. I have just been at a loss for topics lately. I realize my life is not interesting enough to generate readers when I post random little updates. So I have been looking for something I can focus on again. As discussed many times in the past, I am not very good at sticking to something unless there is a designated path and clear view of an objective or a schedule of some sort. So I decided I am going to blog about working through the bible study “Experiencing God” that we are doing in our bi-weekly bible study group. This is a twelve week course that we are dragging out through the end of 2014. In fact we wrap the study up the week before Christmas so it kind of fit perfectly. I am very excited about this study. We just finished the first “weeks” course and met last night to talk about it in our group. The study is structured with five lessons per week for 12 weeks. Since we only meet on the 1^st and 3^rd Tuesday nights each month we are getting an extra week for each “week”. This is nice because it allows you to really focus and dial in to the study. I try to do a lesson every other day. Each takes anywhere between 20-45 minutes so I try to use it for my morning quiet time. Like I said I am extremely excited for this study. On the first introductory night we all passed around our books and signed everyone’s so that we have a support network and can hold each other accountable to the covenant that we signed in our own books. I am famous for getting through about a third of a bible study, miss a week and never get back to finish.

Like I said earlier I am really stoked on this one. I absolutely have accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior and believe in my heart that I have been saved through God’s grace. However… I am definitely selfish in nature and I find my self usually praying mostly selfish prayers. I realize I usually end up advising God on how he can work in my life or reminding him of the things that I WANT to happen or that I NEED in my life… like he doesn’t already know. So you could almost say ive switched the equation and been trying to have it so God is experiencing me. So even in the first week of this study I have really heard God saying…. STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. CHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OUT! PUMP THE BREAKS there killer. I got your back. Now I am not saying that I believe that God doesn’t want us to be ambitious or pursue our dreams… not at all. But I feel like your dreams and ambitions will be revealed to you once you truly begin to experience God. One of the major points of the week was that we need to ask God the right questions. The most common prayer is usually… “God, What is your will for MY life?” How selfish! Instead we need to stop a few words short. “God, what is your will.(PERIOD)”

Once we really get focused on learning what God’s will is… we can begin to learn and explore our piece in the puzzle. We have a tendency to think… man I feel like God is telling me to go to Africa and save the world…. So God please make that happen! Then we expect that since we FEEL like that is what is in our hearts we need to be the next Mother Teresa to Africa and be the main point man for the mission. But I don’t think it works like that which is why I think we are usually so dissatisfied. I think if we understand that ok… I feel like God wants a team to go serve in Africa… OK good. We have established the WILL OF GOD. Now we can begin to find out how God wants  us to work in this. It may be that in fact you get to be the point-man for the trip. You may be put in a position to be the trip director and not even be able to go… but you are tasked with coordinating all the major details. And that is ok. God might just say… you need to pray for this team to go to Africa… I have different plans for you. And we have to be ok with this. This is so hard.

I struggle so much with this. I am a planner. I don’t worry about tomorrow… because I worried about tomorrow about three months ago. Right now im planning for the fall in my head. I know it sucks.

I also want answers. I want to know the future. I want to know if I am where I am because I am stubborn and made a ton of wrong decisions in life or if God directed me here and has a plan. I just want to KNOW!

So that’s what I have dedicated the rest of 2014 to. Every single time I turned the page of this study and read the next passage, verse or paragraph almost each one resonated the same thing in me. STOP. SLOW DOWN. LET GO. REST. As Casting Crowns puts it… JUST BE HELD. Stop asking God to grab hold of me as I go about my journey… but I need to grab hold of God and go along his journey.

So that’s my plan. But at the same time that doesn’t mean im going to completely stop pursuing things. I will continue to reach out, talk to people, seek guidance and ask questions, pursue opportunities…. But do so in a much more relaxed sense. Not get so excited when something tiny happens and expect it to work out to the way it does In my dreams. If I through a line out… and some thing bites… then pray and pursue it… But leave it up to God to work it out. Not try and force everything. So here’s to the back half of 2014!