Second Steps

Second Step

Taking that Second step has always been something that I haven’t been able to do.

I am a master at planning things…considering all angles and issues… incorporating all the necessary resources available or needed for the task at hand… and putting together the most logical and efficient plan to get something done. I really am good at putting together the “first step” of something… however the next step… not so much.

I rarely ever follow through with a thought or plan. Besides being really good at the things mentioned above… I am also a master at second-guessing myself…considering…reconsidering… questioning….and ultimately end up talking myself out of something. I usually get nervous about the outcome and am terrified at the fear of failure. If it involves a substantial financial investment… the all these things just get exponentially worse. So inevitably  my master plan usually ends up remaining just a master plan. I rarely ever put something into action. Action.. the second step...

I can think of a million examples of this throughout my life. Some are small… like me never getting around to painting a picture in the style of Thomas Kinkade. Why? Well chances are it probably will not turn out quite as good as Thomas Kinkade. Yes I know he is a master professional painter but I would still judge myself to those standards… so after going out and buying all the supplies I needed, picked the picture I wanted to replicate… I never started. I got scared. Knew it wouldn’t turn out how I wanted, or thought it should… so I just quit before I ever even tried.

On a larger scale… this has plagued many major decisions I have had to make in my life. Specifically college. I went to a school that had so much available and so much potential and never once went to try and get out and get involved. I stuck super tight to the friends I had, that were familiar and that had everything in common with me. I was always too afraid to go out and meet new people or new groups. I never joined any clubs or organizations because I was afraid of being different… or even just the fear of the unknown. I picked my major because everyone else picked that major. Then even after I left that school… I had a chance to restart and maybe go down a road I actually wanted to go down… but I didn’t. I picked the same program that a buddy was in, chose a major based upon recommendations from those around me… instead of searching for my own interests and going after them. Up until after graduation from college and getting my first “career” job… I had never ever worked a job that I didn’t know somebody who could get me a leg-up. Why? I guess I just never wanted to take a chance or a risk without some sort of advantage. I think I always was just too afraid of doing anything on my own or doing something that I didn’t have all the information about. So here I sat… trying to figure out where to take my life from this point on… having to live with the fact that I have never once just said **** it…. And gone out to do exactly what I feel like I should do.

Why am I writing about this today???

I have an opportunity to go to a conference in Arizona during the end of October. It is hosted by a company that I support more then any other company and the idea behind what they are doing is literally exactly what I want to do with my life. Christian based fitness/wellness lifestyle. This conference is designed for fitness professionals or those passionate about pursuing this type of work… to learn to build and grow there gym or their business and how to incorporate Christian principles with exercise and fitness.  However I am finding myself questioning the decision on to go. I feel like I need to get the reasons out in the open for anyone to comment or encourage me. So here are my “issues”

• ·         I am scared that I don’t have enough knowledge or credentials to be taken serious by the other fitness professionals.
• ·         I am scared that this might confirm that this is exactly what I want to do with my life… but the amount of work that it might take to do this is too much to imagine
• ·         I am scared of the financial investment and what if it ends up being a waste?
• ·         I am scared of going to something of this magnitude alone.

I just never seem to be able to take that second step. To dive in, take a chance… go for gold for once. Playing the safe, easy or cautious card will rarely get you in trouble… but at the same time it often leaves you thinking “what could have been???”

I was with a buddy this weekend and through his actions and our discussions it seems like some many other people are able to live the “you only live once” motto as he is. Because… at the end of the day… you do only live once. Every day that goes by that you aren’t actively pursuing your dreams or fulfilling your life with that which truly makes you happy I think is a waste of a day. We don’t get these days back. I don’t want to get to be 65yrs old and sit and dream of what could have been. I need to start making these things happen. Or at least trying.  Because at least then I can say I tried and it wasn’t meant to be. But until you try… you will never know. 

It’s Been a while!

It’s Been a while!

Ahh back at the helm. I apologize to anyone who was interested in reading my posts for my absence of late. Not really sure what exactly caused the hiatus except for the fact that I really struggled to find anything to write about. I guess this could be considered a good thing and sort of proves that I actually have been feeling pretty good lately. I started some medication to help with some of my issues. The Prozac alone did not do a whole lot for me but after a myriad of tests for ADHA we have added an medicine called Tenex. It is a non-stimulant based ADHA medicine. It seems to have helped quite a bit. It helps me be able to focus a little bit better on tedious boring tasks. Anyway that’s all boring stuff… here are some recent events of this summer so far.

FIRST! … as I typically have used this as a platform to brag and boast about my wonderful wife, I need to give her a massive shout-out. She recently (Saturday) went into old navy to buy some new jeans and found out she fits in the smallest size she has ever been able to fit in!!!! I am so proud of her. She has lost 12 pant sizes to date. So so so awesome! She also just started a 12-week training program for the Wicked 10k that she is running in late October with some friends. So any encouragement sent her way would be great as this is a long and difficult commitment.

Next… I recently took my first ever trip to the emergency room. Last week I was at the gym and pulled an idiotic move. It wasn’t that I actually did something stupid or that I shouldn’t have been doing… but I exercised very poor workout-programming. I have recently been trying to follow crossfit.com and perform there posted workouts each day as a challenge and because I have been bored with my old routine and want to incorporate different movements into my workouts…. So anyway… I missed a workout that was posted so I decided to double up workouts and perform the previous day’s workout followed by the current days posted workout. The first was 10 rounds of 100m sprint – straight into 15 push-ups. Doesn’t look that difficult at all… but it freaking SUCKED! You never realize how much you use your arms/shoulders to pump during a sprint until you have to drop and do 15 pushups immediately. By round 4 I was dying… but did manage to finish the workout in about 11 minutes. So then I took a breather and started the next workout which consisted of 5 rounds of 500m row/ 15 box jumps/ 5 225# deadlifts … so I began… the row was fine… the first 13 box jumps were fine… then on the 14^th rep of the box jumps my right foot made it, and my left toe snagged the edge of the box…. Came crashing down on my shin and ripped a 1.5in gash in my shin. Oooowwwww. Also managed to scrape and bruise my left knee as my leg slip down the box but didn’t realize that until the next day… so anyway … with blood pouring out of my shin I drove myself to the hospital and got 9 stitches. My doctor was cool she was a younger lady from JMU who actually used to do CrossFit so when I told her what happened she laughed and said she’s seen that plenty of times. So I told her to hurry up because I still had 4 rounds to finish. HA! As I said this was my first experience in a hospital so the whole process was interesting. I wont go into the details but parts of it hurt like a champ. I had called Erin as I was leaving the gym and non-chalantly told her what happened and then mid sentence I had to hang-up to fill out an accident report… so I called her back and got chewed out because I told her I was going to the hospital but I had to call her back! haha! The funniest part of the whole thing was Shannon, Erin’s sister, was the first to get to the hospital to check on me. Now you have to know something about the Waugh family… Erin, Shannon and her Dad will pass out if a hangnail starts bleeding so when Shannon walked into the room and saw my leg it was bad news. She tried to stay out in the hall way but inevitably was forced to the bathroom and pretty much passed out and got sick. Erin and her Dad both came back at time but both had to remain in the hall so the same didn’t happen! I thought it was funny and the doctor was also laughing about it. I am usually the only person in the family who can handle those injury/bloody situation but I was the one getting my leg sewed up! But yah anyway it was really dumb on my part to try and do a sprint workout… followed right into a box jump workout… legs were tired…. It was inevitable. One really awesome thing that came out of it was that I we got just another confirmation that we have the best friends in the world. Our neighbors (Ben and Ashely)  came up to the hospital at a drop of hat after Erin asked if they could some stay with me while she tried to take care of Shannon. “2 am friends” at the best.

On a more positive note… I had the opportunity to lead our bible study discussion last Sunday and received some really good positive feedback. This was good because I was super nervous about it and don’t necessarily consider myself to be the greatest teacher in the world. The discussion went great and It was a nice little confidence boost. I was given a relatively difficult chapter in Romans 11 but thought we worked through it well.

Erin and I had a great trip to Atlanta with her family a few weeks ago. We managed two Braves games and a trip to the Coca-Cola museum and the George Aquarium in the span of 48 hours. Busy, quick but fun.

So to wrap up this post I just  wanted to say that I do plan of getting back into writing these. I need to find something to focus on instead of just babbling about life. I would like to turn this into more of a focused themed blog. Anyone have any ideas please let me know!